


All the colours of agony

by OphaleWinchester



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Parabatai Bond, There is no warnings now, a bit - Freeform, but there will be later, feels everywhere, injuries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21779908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OphaleWinchester/pseuds/OphaleWinchester
Summary: This a serie of one-shots, involving Alec. And hurt. (And a bit of fluff. I mean... Malec).Because I like hurting my favorite character.Chapter 1 : migraine.
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 17
Kudos: 159





	1. Migraine

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I've a new serie.
> 
> These one-shot will be centered around Alec, and will involve some sort of hurt/comfort.
> 
> English is not my first language, and I don't not own Shadowhunters.
> 
> Also I should tell you that I wrote and posted this will being sick, so there might be mistakes. Sorry.
> 
> Enjoy !

When Alec woke up, it was still dark.

The light from the moon, shining through the window, lighted up the bedroom. Magnus was sleeping with his head on the shadowhunter's chest, his arm across his waist. Under the moonlight, he seemed to be glowing, like an angel (Alec always said he was the more angelic of the two). His hair was falling on his face, which was bare of all make-up.

Now, Alec loved Magnus no matter what he was wearing (or not), be it clothes, jewelry or make-up, but there was something about seeing his husband free of all products that made his heart expand in his chest. Like this, Magnus was at his most vulnerable, no longer hiding behind a mask, or a persona. To be the one seeing the warlock like this ? It was more humbling than anything else.

Alec would have enjoyed the view, had he not been attacked by a vicious headache. The throbbing hammering in his head had woken him up at (he glanced at the clock next to him, on the nightsand and groaned quietly when the light of the number hurt his eyes) three am. He had to get up in three hours, and he wasn't sure he could get more sleep. To be honest, he wasn't even sure he would get up at all. From his previous experiences, being awaken in the middle of the night by a headache, always leaded with a migraine in the following hours. He could kiss his working day goodbye.

Alec had stress migraines. And he had them for a very long time, before he became Head of the Institute. When the first one had hit, Alec had been seventeen. He had officially became Acting Head of the Institute, and all this stress added to the wieght of keeping his sexuality a secret had taken a toll. A few weeks after his first day, he had been floored by one hell of a migraine. Jace had barged in his room, frantic, convinced his parabatai was attacked or had been poisoned. When he realised what was actually happening, he had forced Alec to take a day off, and he and Izzy had taken care of the Institute that day.

From then, it only got worse. The migraines didn't peak often, but when they did, it was with all the finess and softeness of a hurricane. They left him unable to move for hours, and in pain for as long. When it happened, his siblings would always force him to rest and would hold the fort for him. At first, Alec had felt incredibly guilty ; he was a shadowhunter, and it was his job, he wasn't supposed to stop working just because of a bloody headache. What kind of shadowhunter he was if he let pain make him this weak ? It took some time, but Jace and Izzy managed to convince him it was okay to take time to heal once in a while. They argued that with everything Alec did for them (always having their backs against the Clave or their parents, saving their asses on missions more time that they could remembered, doing their paperwork when they didn't - which, let's face it, was often - always protecting them when the Clave came at them for an unsanctioned mission, and so many others things they couldn't list them all), stepping in and giving him time to rest what the least they could do. Alec would grumble and argue, but it was more for show than anything. In the end, he would stepped down and let himself rest.

Since meeting Magnus, the migraines had made less and less appearances. Magnus took care of him, always cheking that he had eaten, or that he was feeling well. For the first time, there was someone whose top priority was Alec. For the first time, Alec was what was most precious to someone. It was exhilarating, and freeing, and thrilling, and it made his heart ache in a way it never did before. But it was also terrifying, and so utterly painful. Alec was terrified, terrified of saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. Terrified of screwing up the best thing that had ever happened to him, terrified that, one day, Magnud would realise that he wasn't worth it, realised that he could do better than Alec, that someone, somewhere, could give him more than Alec could ever hope to.

And it hurt.

It hurt, to know one day he would be alone again. Because Alec feared he would. Magnus already left him once. He had smiled at him, bright and soft and said _« I will always be there for you »_. He had helped him, said _« I'm not okay, because you're not okay »_ , and _« when things get crazy, don't push me away »_. He had taken his hands in his owns, and said _« I can't have both »_. He had looked at him and said _« I love you »_. He had said _« I love you »_. And he had left.

 _Always_ had never felt so ephemeral.

Alec had said _« we always seem to find our way back to each other »_. And they did. They got back together, they loved each other, they went to dates, they talked, they cried, they screamed, they loved, they stumbled, and caught themselves, they gave and they took, they hurt each others and they healed others, they sacrificed and they gained, they moved in together and they got married. They got _married_.

Alec never tought he would have any of it. He had accepted his fate ; to end up married to a woman, unhappy, and with no escape. He never saw a way-out, convinced even a miracle couldn't save him. And he was right, no miracle saved him.

But Magnus did. 

Magnus was more than a miracle. He was fire, and ice, and the stars, and the sky, and magic, and oblivion, and rage, and the ashes of Edom, but he was also redemption, and warmth, and love, and happiness. And forever.

Now, _always_ tasted like forever.

And Alec wouldn't change a thing. He would keep their mistakes, their tumbling around, their mishapes, their pain. Because without it, they wouldn't be here. They wouldn't be who they were, not anymore, not really. And all of this, all of their suffering ensured that they earned their lessons. They were more cautious, more open, more attentive to each others than ever. They could not, would not repeat the past.

A lesson without pain is meaningless. They learned the hard way, and they would not make that mistake again.

And so, laying next to his husband, in _their_ bed, in _their_ home, Alec never felt more at peace. He was in pain, his head was killing him, and Magnus slept on, unaware of his struggle. In a few hours, he would wake up, find his husband hurting, and start fussing over him like he always did when Alec was hurt. He knew he could wake Magnus up, but his days were still hectic and he didn't get much sleep. Neither did Alec. That's why he buried himself deeper in the covers, tighten his arm around his husband and willed himself to sleep. 

With Magnus by his side, his unending headache didn't seem so bad.

He was wrong. 

His unending headache was bad. Very bad.

Well, it wasn't a headache anymore. During the few hours of sleep he managed to grasp, his headache had evolved into a colossal migraine, just like those weird-looking animals Simon talked about. What was their name ? Coremon ? Borimon ? Something like that, he didn't really care.

What he did care about was the incessant and shrill alarm going off next to him. No doubt the alarm clock.

Alec let out a frankly pathetic moan, and tried to burry his head in his pillow to attune the sound. It didn't really work.

He could feel Magnus shifting next to him, and his breath picking up, meaning that he was waking up. He felt the tingling sensation of magic and the sound dissapeared a second later.

The shadowhunter let out a relieved sigh, and then another groan when he accidently jostled his head.

Predictably, Magnus heard him, and went immediatly into concern mode.

« Alexander ? » he asked, his voice lower than usual and still lingered with sleep.

When he didn't answer, Alec felt a hand gently cupping his face.

« Alexander, can you open your eyes ? »

The warlock's other hand find itself in his hair, like Magnus knew Alec liked. Said man gathered some energy and tried to open his eyes.

His sight was blurry, and the light from the sun didn't help at all. Before he could close them again to escape the unforgiving sunbeam, Magnus wave a hand and the curtains closed themselves, immersing the bedroom into darkness once more.

His eyes found Magnus easily, mostly because he leaned into his field of vision.

« Oh darling, » cooed Magnus when he took in Alec's state. He knew what was happening before his husband opened his mouth to confirm. He slided his hand from Alec's face and instead take his hand. Then he lowered his voice, and asked : « Are you having a migraine ? »

Back when Alec had one at Magnus's loft for the first time, they came up with a way to coomunicate during those episodes. Magnus remembered the panic swamping his veines when he realised how much pain Alec was in. He was extremely sensitive to noises, and lights. Even the sound of his own voice was painful, so after the ordeal, they found a way to communicate for the next one. Magnus would take Alec's hands, he would asked mostly 'yes no' questions and Alec would squeeze to answer. One for 'yes', two for 'no'.

One squeeze.

Magnus made a pained noise. His hand kept stroking Alec's hair, hoping to help him feel a bit better.

« On a scale from 1 to 10, how sensitive are you ? »

Alec took Magnus's hands in both his hands, and slowly pressed one of his finger in his skin. Then two, then three, until he stopped at eight.

Magnus frowned, unhappy. Eight was fairly high, it rarely went past seven. Anything below five was fine, it meant Alec could be uncomfortable with prolonged touches, or in particular areas (such as the neck and chest), but it was harmless and nothing to actually worry about. Six meant be careful, it was somehow a mix of five and seven, seven being 'no prolonged touches, and minimal clothing', for the fabric was irritating his skin, or at least felt like it, noises could hurt, but were still manageable. Eight meant 'fabrics and sounds were actually painful, and no touching except for the hands and head'. Nine narrowed it down to only the hands, and ten 'no touching or speaking whatsoever'.

They never went to ten, thankfully, but they did reach nine once. It was not a pleasant experience.

« Alright. How is your pain ? »

Alec took longer to answer that one, and Magnus didn't rush him. The first times, Alec would always try to diminish the amount of pain he was under. It took a lot of time for Magnus to make him understand that he needed to be honest with him, and that he didn't made him weak in any way. Sometimes, Magnus really wanted to blast Maryse and Robert Lightwood (and the Clave) into Edom, no matter how Maryse changed. Truly, the way shadowhunters were raised was wrong in so many ways.

He was taken out of his thoughts by Alec pressing his fingers.

Nine.

That was bad. Extremely so.

Nine meant that Alec couldn't think about anything else, that he could barely talk or move because of it. Usually, his migraines went from five (which meant intermittent pain, but still able to do almost all activites) to seven (meaning constant and oppressive pain, unable to do anything). Eight (so in pain, he could not think, focus, talk or even listened) was rarely reached, and nine even more so.

Magnus's concern skyrocketed in the blink of an eye. He wanted nothing more than to use his magic to take away his husband's pain. But, as they discovered pretty early on, his magic was only a temporary solution. Eventually, the migraine would come back. So they decided it was best to just let it run its course in one go. If Alec asked him, he would use his magic, but in the mean time, he would take care of him the old fashion way.

That's why the warlock was currently in the kitchen, making tea. Once it would be ready, he would mix a potion with it. It wouldn't make it disappear, but it would help alleviate Alec's pain and Magnus would take any consolation right now.

When he was back in the bedroom, Alec hadn't moved an inch. He was still prostate, his hand clutching the pillow. Occasionally, he would let out a harrowing moan, that would crush Magnus's heart. 

He always hated when Alec was hurt, but even more so when he couldn't do anything to help him. He was powerless and nothing hurt more than watching the man you love in pain, and knowing you couldn't help him.

So, Magnus made tea.

Well, making tea was the easy part, now the hard part was coming : finding a way to make Alec drink it. 

He kneeled next to Alec, and showed him the cup. He waved his hand, and flotting words materialized in front of him (they used this technic when the audio stimuli were too much for Alexander, and Magnus thought that was the case). They were highlighted in a soft blue light, a shade brighter than the darkness of the room so Alec could see them, but not enough (hopefully) to hurt him.

_« Do you think you can sit up to drink this ? »_

Judging by his frown and grimace, it did hurt him. Magnus let the words vanished in the next seconde. He was about to apologize when Alexander squeezed his hand.

One squeeze.

A beat.

Another squeeze.

That's a no then.

Magnus frowned, and rummaged through his head, trying to find a solution. It took him long minutes, but he eventually did found one. 

He waved his hands, aware that his magic's colour was a lot more dull than usual now, without him thinking about it. He felt a brust of affection for his magic which was always so considerate and toughtfull about Alexander's needs. Then he gathered the content of the cup, and condensed it into one drop, the size of a small pill.

Alexander open his eyes when Magnus touched his cheek, having closed them earlier. Magnus showed him the drop, and mimed the action of swallowing. 

At first, the shadowhunter didn't give any reactions, and Magnus thought that perhaps the pain had clouded his thoughts too much. But then, he opened his mouth. And he could swear he litterally felt relief flowed in his veins.

He put the drop into his husband's mouth, and watched as said husband swallowed it with difficulty. He passed his hand in Alec's hair, careful not to go too fast or be too rough, while they waited for the potion to kick in. Alec sneaked a hand outside the blanket and gripped the warlock's other hand. Magnus smiled, fondness melting his heart and intertwined their fingers. 

A few minutes later, he watched, filled with alleviation, as Alec's features became more relaxed and calm. He was still in pain, but it was more manageable now than it was before.

Magnus let go of his hand, skirted around the bed, and carefully climbed next to the shadowhunter. With infinite care, he gathered Alec in his arms. Alec's body turned into jelly, boneless in his hold, Slowly, he put an arm around Magnus's waist, and burried his face in the crook of his neck.

Magnus turned his head, and kissed Alec's forehead. Alec sighed happily, and liquefied a bit more against his husband.

He still wasn't healed, his head still hurt, the migraine beating against his skull like the drums of the Moria (Simon made him watch this movie, all of them actually, and Alec would never admit to him that he enjoyed them), and the silks were like crushed glass under his skin. But none that mattered, because Magnus was there. He was taking care of him, not complaining even once, ready to do just about anything for Alec.

Alec was in pain, he was hurting, quite a bit, but Magnus was there.

Magnus was always there.


	2. One last phone call - Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec is in deep shit. 
> 
> Magnus is freaking out.
> 
> It's Jace's fault.
> 
> What else is new ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, happy new year ? It's not too late, right ?
> 
> Sorry for the delay, I was hit by the blank page syndrome. I tried a couple other chapter, but it didn't take. i'm glad I'm done with this one though !
> 
> Warning ! There is mention of blood. And cursing.
> 
> Also this work was inspired by One Missed Call, by sugarandspace, which is awesome, so go read it !

_You have one missed call._

* * *

There were few things Magnus despised more than acid washed jeans, and warlock meetings was one of them. They dragged on and on for hours, sometimes even days (time was nothing for immortals beings. That being said, Magnus always felt time streched until its very limit during those meetings), and it always took place in some remote location, accessable only by portals, and _of course_ , cellphones were strictly prohibited. You know, in case one of them was a traitor and gave classified information, even though those meetings were the most boring Magnus ever attended too. And he was eight hundreds years old. More often than not they talked (more like lectured each other, really) about new spells or potions, the High Warlocks (most of them anyway) spent their time flaunting their title to everyone's faces, challenging each others into pissing contests and testing the water, to see how the others were doing on their turf, in case one of them was down, to try and get their hands on it. 

Warlocks were the sharks of the Shadow world.

The only upside was that Catarina was with him. It made the all thing more bearable. 

When Ragnor was still there, the three of them would come and gather in the back of the assemble. Then they proceeded to make fun of all the ill-dressed warlocks (and they were quite numerous). Magnus almost had a heart attack when one of the meeting happened during the eighties. Too many colours - the hall looked like a horde of unicorns had barfed on the walls and on the ground - and way too many haircuts that deserved to be forgotten forever.

Ragnor had never let him forgotten it, obviously.

On the downside, the no-phones rule meant that he couldn't call or text his dear Alexander. He hadn't seen him in three days, and he was litterally itching to see him, hear him, touch him. Anything really.

Magnus scoffed under his breath and ignore Catarina's raised eyebrow. It was almost pathetic. He was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, the most powerful warlock in New York and one of the most powerful in the world, and here he was : reduced to aching mess because he hand't seen his husband in three days. Ha ! If the others could hear him now, they would lose all respect for him. No matter that most of it was destroyed when it was clear that his relationship with Alexander was very real and very serious. Not that he cared in the slightest. No one had anything to say about them. Not even their families. Of course, he was thrilled that Alec's siblings – and later Maryse (his father didn't accept it, it seemed, but he also didn't rejected it either) - accepted and supported him, them, and that Catarina and Ragnor were happy for him. But ultimately, if they had been against it, if they had rejected him and Alexander, their relationship, Magnus would have been hurt, betrayed even, but he would never have given up on the shadowhunter. Nothing and no one could ever force him to let him go. Only Alexander himself had that power.

Catarina gave him an understanding look, and Magnus hurried to smooth his expression. He knew that look, that was the one she gave him when he had the _I-am-so-in-love-with-this-man-and-I-miss-him-terribly_ look. So everytime he and Alexander were apart for more than a day. She would make fun of him everytime, claiming that he was more whipped than whipped cream. Magnus wished he could protest, but the truth was that he was.

Alexander could ask him for the stars and Magnus would find a way to change them into fireflies and put them into a bottle, he could ask for the moon and Magnus would ensanre it, and make it a chandelier, so its light would always be cast upon Alexander. But he didn't ask for the moon, or the stars, or the sun, no matter that he deserved them, deserved the whole universe and beyond. He only asked to stay with Magnus as long as he allowed him. So Magnus glared at Time, growled at Eternity and dare them to tear them apart. He challenged Forever, and declare he would come with Alexander only.

Alexander was his forever. His always. And nothing, no even the universe itself was going to take him from Magnus. And if Magnus had to battle the Cosmos, then so be it.

He was ready.

* * *

Magnus spent the rest of the meeting daydreaming about his very hot, very sweet and very far away husband, twisting his wedding ring thougthlessly, until - finally – it came to an end. It took all his will-power not to run out of there and portal to his loft at the second the meeting was done. Judging by Catarina's look she knew just how much it was costing him. She didn't say anything, just snorted, and followed him. He knew the only reason she didn't rub his longing in his face was because she missed Madzie and wanted to get back to her quickly. 

Thankfully, no one tried to stop them or engage a conversation on the way out. Honestly, if anyone had tried, Magnus would have sent them to the moon without blinking. The warlock start moving his hands as soon he was outside. A few seconds later a bright portal appeared and he stepped through it. He came out in his loft, Catarina behind him by a second.

« Alexander ? » he called while the portal was closing. 

There was no answer, except for Chairman Meow who came running from behind the couch at the sound of his voice. Magnus kneeled to greet him, happy to see the cat. 

« Hello you, » he cooed while petting the cat and scratching behind his ears, earning a loud purr in return. « You don't know where Alexadner is, do you ? »

« Madzie ? » called Catarina.

The little sorceresse's usual babysitter was an enginner student in the middle of her finals, so she couldn't take care of her. So Alexander, being the marvelous and kind man that he was, said he would gladly spent the few days they were away with Madzie. At the look she gave him, one would have thought the shadowhunter just promised her a pool full of ice cream (peach, her favourite, with rainbow sprinkles). When they left, she had been glued to his side, her arms wrapped around his leg while he waved them good bye. It had been a heart-warming sight.

A more warming sight would have been to see them both at their return. Except, they weren't here. Magnus tried to mask his deception, without really succeeding. 

« Stop pouting, Magnus, you're eight hundred years old. Act like it, » said Catarina, rolling her eyes. « He's probably at the Institute, you'll see him soon enough. »

Magnus was about to answer that one more second away from Alexander was a second too many when his gaze caught a piece of paper on the table next to him. He stopped petting Chairman who let a small noise of disappointment before strutting away, and picked the piece of paper.

He recognized Alec's elegant handwriting, and a small smile found a way to his lips.

_Magnus, I've been called to the Institute for an emergency. Don't worry about Madzie, Izzy took her for some shopping for the afternoon. They should be back by five (if they're not, called Izzy, she can get carried away when shopping, I'm sure you know what I mean), and I will be back as soon as I can._

__

_I miss you._

__

_I love you,_  
_Alec._

__

Magnus knew that sometimes, on some occasions, actions spoke louder than words, but he would be a fool to deny the powers words possess. Because no matter how many times he heard it, how many times he saw it, how many times Alexander told him, those three words always made his heart swells in his chest. They were just words, but they were also a promise, they were a fact, they were a confession. They were just word, and yet they hold an unsuspecting power : the power to mend, and the power to destroy.

And they were Magnus's. 

Catarina moved behind him and read the note. He moved a little so she could have a better view. Then she cast a spell and numbers appeared out of thin air, flotting in front of them.

« Well, I guess Isabelle did get carried away, » she noted, amused, while the bright _17h30_ disappearred.

Thirty minutes was honestly not late for Isabelle. Magnus remembered that one time they went shopping together and ended up missing their deadline hour by four hours. They had been having the time of their life and they didn't check their phones and realised they were late until Alexander sent a fire message. When Magnushad came home, the shadowhunter looked happy to see him but not really worried, and when Magnus told him what happened, he just sighed fondly, like he was expecting it.

He definitely was.

But Madzie was still a kid, and even though she was more outgoing than before, she was still shy when faced with an unknown situation or person. Besides, he could see how Catarina missed her. It was probably best for her to come home.

So conjured his phone, and unlocked the screen. Immediatly, notifications popped up, about missed messages and missed calls. Most were probably from clients, but one caught his attention. It was from Alexander, and he received it twenty-two minutes ago.

Magnus frowned, confused. Alexander knew he wasn't back at that time, and that he didn't have his phone. He also let a message here, at home. So why would he call Magnus when he knew he wouldn't answer ?

A bad feeling crept upon him, making his hands shake the slightest, and his chest tightened in anticipation. 

He touched the button and brought the phone to his ear. His heart was beating so loud in his ear, he was afraid he wouldn't hear anything.

But he did.

His breathing became erratic, his heart missed several beats, beating faster than a vampire at full speed, a cold sweat broke on his body : panic was flooding his system. The phone fell from his grasp, and clattered on the floor. Magnus felt like drowning, suffocating in fear and paralyzed by desperation. He could hear Catarina talking, but it was distorded, muffled, as if she was talking under water. The blood rushing throught his ears covered her every words.

It was her hand on his arm that broke him from his panicked, frozen state. He turned a distraught look on her, and struggled to get the words out.

« We need to go to the Institute. It's Alexander. »

* * *

Alec blamed Jace. 

It was not usual, as his parabatai had the really annoying habit to act first and think later. He got them into so many troubles, Alec wasn't sure he remembered all of them.

That time he had to play mediator between Shadowhunters and Vampires because someone offended them by disregarding their customs ? Jace. That one time he found himself half-frozen to death because someone thought it would be a good idea to fight a demon on a frozen lake ? Jace. And that other time he suffered the wrath of his parents because someone almost declare war againts the Seelies inadvertently ? Jace.

(At least now he learned to shut up when butterflies decorated their homes.)

Alec could on for the rest of the day.

He was so glad Izzy and Max were more level-headed. Dealing with Jace's shenanigans was exhausting, he would have ripped his hair out if his others sibling did the same. Not that Isabelle was innocent either, but at least her mishaps didn't end with the threat of a war, or disembowelement.

But it turned out Jace had some serious competition in the form of a small, annoying red hair. Before her, it was _What did Jace do ?_ Now it was _Who screwed up ? Jace ? Clary ? Or Jace_ and _Clary ?_

Birds of a feather flock together, right ?

But Clary had been training at the Institute when all hell broke loose, so it wasn't her fault. For once.

Jace, on the other hand, was the one who suggested they patrol together, because _« we need some parabatime, Alec »_ and _« it's time to parabond »_.

Alec agreed because it _had_ been a while since they patrolled together, just the two of them. Alec missed it and he knew Jace did too. So as soon as Alec dealt with the emergency (wich was definitely _not_ one, Raj was just an asshole), they geared up and left.

In his defense, the beginning of the patrol went actually quite well. They found and destroyed a small nest of Shax demons, and saved a mundane from a wild werewolf. Then they patrolled along Brooklyn, enjoying the fresh air of the night. It was January, snow was still clinging to the streets, and the night took its shift at the end of the afternoon. They were fooling around, content to spend time together (a rare feat nowaday) when they received a message from the Ops Center. There was a suspicious activity a few block away, a witness saying they saw what looked like zombies. They decided to check it out. Alec wanted to wait for backup, but as usual, Jace went in, seraph blades at the ready. Alec rolled his eyes but followed him. Because of course, he wasn't going to let his brother throw himself blindly in danger by his own. Even if he was being a prick.

The building the witness described was actually a rehab center. And whoever was responsible for turning Mundanes into Forsaken clearly didn't spare anyone. It was pretty smart actually ; most of these people didn't have a family, and those who did weren't a threat either. Families and the police would just assume they relapsed and woulnd't bother looking for some missing junkies.

Except it wasn't one or two Forsaken they faced, but more two dozens.

So here he was, in a house swarming with Forsaken, a lost bow and a broken stele, and leaving a trail of blood behind him.

Alec was going to kill Jace.

That was, if the Forsakens didn't kill him first.

Fucking hell.

Alec slammed the door behind him, and let himself fall against it. It wouldn't hold the Forsakens for long, but it would buy him some time. He sent Jace away when they found out that there were, in fact, survivors. They found a woman and a teenager strapped to chairs in the basement. They were both exhausted, dehydrated and wounded. So Alec pulled out his rank and ordered Jace to take them to safety. Which meant that he was alone. Against the fifteen, or so, Forsaken left.

Oh, joy.

He was brought back to reality by a crash against the door. He had company.

Alec cursed and rummage through his pockets for his phone. He let another curse when he pulled it out, he didn't have a lot of battery left. But he didn't need a lot, juste enough to make one call.

The thruth was, Alec wasn't sure he was going to make it out. The odds were against him ; he was injured, had lost a weapon and his stele, and he was vastly outnumbered.

Alec was afraid.

But if it was indeed the end, than he had one last thing to do. So, he unlocked his screen, scrolled through his contact and pressed call.

His call didn't land, like he knew it wouldn't, but it didn't matter.

_« You have reached the voicemail of Magnus Bane, leave a message if you feel like it. »_

Alec took a deep breath, and cleared his throat against the swelling he could feel building, drowning the sounds of the Forsakens banging on the door.

« Hey, Mags. I know you're still at your meeting, but I just wanted to hear your voice. » Said Alec, trying to ignore that it was perhaps the last time he heard his husband's voice.

« I... I'm in troubles, Magnus. And I'm...not sure I'm gonna make it this time, » he confessed shakily, running a hand through his hair.

« I will do absolutely everything in my power to come back to you. But in case I don't, I just... I just wanted you to know how much I love you. I love you more than anyone, more than anything, Magnus. Don't ever doubt it. »

He stayed quiet a few seconds, trying to organize his thoughts. He let his head fall against the door, and his eyes wandered to the ceiling.

« You are the love of my life, Magnus Lightwood-Bane. You are my world, my everything. »

Alec inhaled a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. He didn't want Magnus's last memory of him to be him crying. Tears gathered in his eyes, but they didn't fall. When he started talking again, he voice hitched wobbly.

« And I'm so grateful you crashed my wedding so long ago. I'm so grateful you didn't give up on us, that you fought for us. All that time spent with you has been the happiest of my life. You're everything I thought I would never have and everything I never knew I wanted. I know you don't believe it, but you saved me, Mags. You _saved_ me, in so many ways. »

He looked at his wedding ring, a smile stretching his lips. He could still remember their vows, they were ingraved in his mind, his anchor amidst the storm. Their wedding had been the happiest day of his life. Few things could compare to the feeling, to the euphoria of being able to call Magnus his husband. Of knowing that this beautiful, this astonishing, kind, patient, selfless, gorgeous and generous man had chosen him. Magnus could have had anyone, but he chose Alec.

Sometimes, Alec still couldn't believe it.

« Thank you for loving me, Magnus, » he whispered lovingly. 

Somehow, bearing his heart to Magnus, even through voicemail, made the fear took a step back. He could still feel it, ready to roar back to life anytime, but for the moment he felt peaceful. Calm.

The warlock always had that effect on him, able to calm him just by his presence. Alec felt lucky. So lucky to have known, to _know_ a love so powerful, so true, so pure he could feel it in his bones. That the simple mention of his love's name was enough to make him smile, that just the sight of him was enough to pacify his heart, His smile warmed him up like a fire, his touch created fireworks in its trail, his voice was enough to pull him out of his nightmares.

Alec loved Magnus with his entire being, and he knew Magnus loved him just as much.

He squared his shoulders and prepared himself. He was running out of time, but he refused to end it like this. It sounded to much like a farewell to him.

« I will do my best to come home to you. Only the best for you, » he repeated because he needed Magnus to know, to realize that Alec would do anything for him. Even the impossible.

Before he could speak again, a bip ringed in his ear and his phone shut down.

His time has worned out.

* * *

Alec clenched the phone so tightly in his hands, he was surprised it didn't break. He rested his head against his hands and exhaled shakily. Hsi throat was clotted by fear, his limbs were trembling, adreline was rushing through his veins so fast he was almost dizzy.

This might have been the last time he spoke to Magnus. This might have been the last time he heard his husband's voice.

Alec knew he had changed since he met Magnus. It was obvious, everyone could see it. Gone was the morose, desperate and defeated man. Gone was the man ruled by obedience and rigidity. In his place stood a new Alec. An Alec that wasn't afraid to feel, wans't afraid to love.

And, oh, did he love.

He had no idea someone could experience, live a such powerful love. He always thought it to be a fairytail, a chimera that people found comfort in, in which they digged greedily, starved for hope. Hope that they could have it too. He never believed it. At least, not until he found it. 

Alec was so lucky. He found his One, his eternal love, without even looking for it, while everywhere people spent their entire lifetime wihtout even brushing it.

You know, centuries ago, people used to think they were alone in the univers. Convinced there was them, and nothing else. Just them, alone, surrounded by emptiness. But then, scientists discovered others planets, even entire solar systems. And suddenly, they were not alone anymore.

Magnus was his scientist.

Alec used to think he could never have what he wanted, he would spent his life unhappy, miserable, never being who he really was, always hinding, always surviving, but never truly living. But then, Magnus came. He showed him all the others paths his life could stride along. He taugh him self-acceptance, confidence, love, both to love and being loved. Being open about himself, and not apologize for it.

Alec had never really been suicidal. But sometimes, when the hands strangling him were too tight, when the expectations upon him were so crushing he felt like Atlas, sometimes, he would let a demon get a hit, he would be a bit more reckless during patrol, he wouldn't use a iratze right away, letting the pain ground him in reality. He would wlatz with death, coming closer and closer to the edge, but never really crossing it. No matter how tempting it was.

But now, faced with (almost) certain death, his old dancing partner, Alec was striked by how much he wanted to live. He still had so much to do. He wanted to kiss Magnus again, to travel around the world with him, to eat greasy food, and walk in the park, watch the stars under a blanket, witness aurora borealis like Magnus promised they would, he wanted to have kids, to watch them grow, he wanted to spend eternity and beyond with Magnus, and wake up next to him every morning, he wanted to laugh, and cry, and scream, and make love, and hug, and everything in between. He wanted everything with Magnus.

Alec wanted to live.

And there was something else Magnus taught him : once in a while, it was alright to be selfish. 

And so, Alec would be. He wanted a life with his husband, he was going to get it.

The tremor in his limbs reduced then stopped, his mind cleared the fog, calmness and determination taking its place, his heart beat furiously, with an new purpose.

Alec let his phone smash on the floor of the center, uncaring of its fate. He grabbed his seraph blade, lighting the room in a soft white glow, and steeled himself.

He took a deep breath, releasing his last worries, letting the confidence, tenacity and determination of the soldier he was cascade through his veins.

He stood up, and turned around while walking backward.

Alec faced the door and what lied beyond it.

And when the door gave away, the Forsaken swarming in the room, Alec was ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked it !
> 
> Pretty please for a review...
> 
> So I'm in holidays next week, and I'm going to London to see the Harry Potter Studios, so I won't be able to write anything. I do hope I'm not gonne take two months for the next chapter though...
> 
> Anyway, see you soon and take care !
> 
> Edit : typos


	3. One last phone call - Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus is worried.
> 
> Jace is too.
> 
> Thanks Raziel for Catarina and Clary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one took me sooooooo long !
> 
> I swear I wanted to post it sooner, but life get in the way. It took me ages to write it, but now I've a bit more free time to write, so that's good !
> 
> Also, I totally forgot that Clary shouldn't be there, since Malec are married but it happesns before they go to Idris. So, ignore that, please.
> 
> Also this work was inspired by One Missed Call, by sugarandspace, which is awesome, so go read it !
> 
> Edit : typo
> 
> ALSO, WARNINGS ! There is mention/description of blood, corpses and injuries, so if it troubles you, don't read it.

Magnus was no stranger to fear.

He knew it like the back of his hand. He knew so many fears : the soft unease when he knew he forgot something important, the nervousness speeding up his heartbeat when he had to do something he dreaded, the slight panic coursing down his veins when he thought about taking down his walls, making him sweat, and out of breath, the full-blown panic anytime he was near water, the one that cut his breath off, turned his legs into jelly and make his stomach drop to his feet. But this one ? This heart-stopping, gut-wrenching terror, the one that made him so dizzy he was convinced he was going to pass out, yet poured so much adrenaline through his veins he was more awake than ever ; this terror that made his hands shake so much he could barely open a portal, that clouded his mind so badly he couldn't hear sounds, yet the next minute everything caught up, and he could see everything clearer than ever. He was a ticking bomb, ready to explose at any moment and he had no idea was could trigger him.

He had felt that fear only once before : when the Owl had stabbed Alexander. Magnus had wished he would never experienced it again. 

A blissful and vain hope when one's husband is a shadowhunter. No matter that Alec was Head of the Institute and thus didn't go on missions and patrols as much as he used to. Because, not only when he _did_ go on missions, it was for the most dangerous ones, but Alec was a shadowhunter, hunting was in his veins. He needed it, needed the thrills, the adrenaline, needed to feel his blood pumping through his body, to feel his muscles strech, his body bend and his mind focus on his prey. Alexander was different from his peers in so many ways, but not this one. Magnus had never met a single shadowhunter that was, and he didn't think he ever would. Hunting was in their DNA, just like magic was in warlock's.

Alexander was competent. He was one of the best shadowhunter there ever was, he was absolutely stunning as a leader, and breathlessly impressive as a soldier ; his archery was unparalleled and his fighting skills legendary. But he was also humain. Alexander was many things, but invincible he was not. No one was. He made mistakes, he didn't have a single clue about how to take care of himself, he was quick to anger when it concerned the people he loved, and he was the most stubborn person Magnus had ever met. But he was learning. Learning to be better, to take some time for himself, to delegate more, and to try not to let anger take over.

Alexander was a blessing in human form and Magnus was terrified that he was about to loose him. He didn't think he could handle it - no, he _knew_ he wouldn't. He had been alive for hundred of years, had been with so many people, yer none of them had managed to sneak into his walls, settle under his skin and become such an integral part of his life. No one completed him like Alec did, no one understood him like he did, no one could make him feel so at peace, so happy, so loved, freely and inconditionally. Magnus had never loved anyone more than he loved Alexander, and he knew he never would. Alec was it, now and forever.

But, it seemed their forever might never come after all.

Trying to ignore this particulairly gruesome thought, Magnus bursted into the Institute, barely containig his panic. He ignored the stares he recieved, his gaze zeroing onto familiar bright red hair.

« Clary ! »

The girl looked up from the screens she was monitoring, a smile on her face.

« Magnus, hey ! And Catarina ! »

But her smile quickly vanished when she took in his alarmed expression.

« What's wrong ? »

« Where is Alexander ? »

« Alec ? I think he went on patrol with Jace... » the words died on her lips, watching Magnus paling remarkably fast. Dread filled her chest, making her palms sweaty. She almost didn't want to ask. « Magnus, what's going on ? Is Jace alright ? Is Alec ? »

Magnus took a deep breath, trying to regain at least a little control over his emotions. Giving in to panic would not help Alexander, so he took his tangled feelings and buried them deep inside. 

« No he is not. Alec is in trouble, something happened during the patrol, and I need to find him. »

« Did you try tracking him ? » she asked, already pulling a map of New York on the screen.

Magnus felt like she had just slapped him. How could he forget ? He had been so distressed over Alec's voicemail, he hadn't even try to track him. Cursing loudly, he took of his wedding ring and performed the spell. When he had conjured the rings that day, he had put a lock of Alec's hair in his and a lock on his own hair in Alec's rings, so they could always find each other. He just wished he didn't have to use it so soon.

Unfortunately, the spell didn't work. At least not completely. The spell did track him but until a certain point, then it stopped.

« It's not fully working, » he said to Clary, putting the ring back on. « He must be somewhere near water. Close enough to block partially the spell, but far enough I could get an idea of where he is. »

He stepped up to the monitors and pointed to a district near the docks. 

« There. I saw that Indian place we went once, and an animal shelter. He is over there. »

« Wait. » She squinted at the location he pointed, recognition shining in her eyes. « I think... » She opened some kind of archives on the computer, and scrolled through it, searching for something. « Found it ! So, we received some disturbing informations about this building, right there. » She changed back to the map, and zoomed on a small building. « A couple of people witnessed something akin to 'zombies' there yesterday. I think Alec and Jace went there to investigate. »

« Then let's begin there. It's the only lead we have now, » said Catarina.

Magnus agreed and Clary nodded. « I'll get my weapons and then we portal there. Try to contact Izzy, she would want to know. »

And she hurried to her room to retrieve her weapons. Magnus tried to reach Izzy but ended up on her voicemail. This would definitely be a terrible way to inform her of her brother's precarious situation, so he settled to tell to contact him as soon as she could and come back to the Institute. He did tell her that Alexander was involved but nothing more.

By the time he was done, Clary wasn't back yet, and he started fidgeting. He paced, then twisted his wedding ring without realising it, lost in bleak thoughts. He only stopped when Catarina took his hands in her. She didn't say anything, just clutched his hands until the tremors disappeared. He hadn't even noticed he was shaking. Magnus grasped her hands tightly, and give her a small smile, the best he could manage at the moment.

A minute later Clary was back, seraph blade strapped to her tight, and dual blades on her lower back.

« Let's go, » she said without pausing, leading them outside of the Institute.

There, Magnus opened a portal and they stepped through it. Ready to find his missing shadowhunter.

 _Hold on, Alexander. We're coming._ I'm _coming._

* * *

Alec wanted to go on a vacation.

Somewhere nice, somewhere warm, somewhere where he could see the stars, somewhere just him and Magnus, just him and his husband, somewhere without the Clave, or shadowhunter's duty, somewhere whitout his siblings's constant idiocy.

Somewhere without any fucking Forsaken.

 _That would be nice,_ he thought while swiping his foot under a forsaken's legs. As soon as it was down, Alec dived his seraph blade through its skull. He put his foot on its chest and yanked the blade out. He turned around and blocked a blow coming from above. He swiped his arm. Bood sputtered and the head of the forsaken went flying away.

Alec rested his back against the wall, catching his breath while he still could. He had left the room earlier thanks to a hole in the ground leading to the floor below. Alec had jumped in it, the Forsaken following, of course. But at least they were not blocking the exit anymore. He managed to kill one of them when it landed after him, then two more in the hallway once he was out, and a few more in the stairs. Which he just came out of. He had a few seconds to rest before what was left of them barged in the hall where he was now.

The good news was the hall was too narrow for them to crowd him or try to surround him. They could only go forward and only two of them shoulders to shoulders. The other good news was that these were just plain Forsakens. No Angel or Seelie's blood, no superior strength, or intellect. Just plain mindless, sensless Forsakens. 

He could hear the loud footsteps of the ceatures coming his way, so he pushed himself of the wall, not wanting to be cornered against it. He raised his blade and waited. He didn't have to wait long. They crashed through the door in a messy pile of decaying limbs. He took a couple of steps back, letting them come to him. He sweept the legs of the first one underneath it, and plunged his blade in its skull when it hit the ground. Immediately, he took it out and retreated. The second forsaken walked on the fallen one without care, its mind focused on Alec. It swung at him, so the shadowhunter ducked, raised his sword and ran it through. It gurgled, blood coming out of its lips and collapsed on the ground. Alec barely had time to take a breath before the next one was upon him. It came out from his blind spot and shoved him into the wall. Next thing he knew, teeth were sinking into his neck. A scream tored itself from his mouth, part pain, part anger. He didn't try to remove the Forsaken ; its teeth were deep in his flesh and its grip hadn't relaxed at all. Trying to remove it would just peel his skin off. So instead, he swirled his blade and shoved it into the forsaken's neck. Blood splattered on his cheek and jaw. Its grip became lax, and it fell, or rather slided against Alec to the floor.

After that, the shadowhunter lost track of time, of injuries. He didn't know if the blood on his clothes was the creatures's or his own. They may not had been genetically enhanced, but they were still very much a threat. They didn't feel pain, or exhaustion like Alec did. He could cut their hands and they would still come back, undisturbed. He could cut their legs off and they would crawl on the ground to reach him.

One of them grapped his arm and yanked, hard. It threw him across the hall, where he landed at the feet on another one. He dodged the foot coming to crush his ribs, scrambling to his feet. And shoved his blade into its face.

And...

Shit.

And now the bad news ! The bad news was : he just lost his seraph blade. It was stuck into the Forsaken's body and Alec hadn't had time to take it out before the next one was attacking. He rolled away, quickly climbing to his feet. He had no weapons left, except for his arrows. He reached behind him and two arrows materializied in his hands. Alec prepared himself, keeping a close eye on his ennemies.

There were five forsakens left. And one of them was trapped under two dead ones, clawing and kicking to free itself. Two of the five launched at him, running and stumbling on the corpses of the fallen ones. Alec received the first one with an arrow through its eye. The creature screeched, scratching at his arms, leaving bloody lacerations behind. Alec grunted and pushed the arrow deeper. The forsaken stopped all movements, and fell silent. He took the arrow out, and the corpse crashed down. He kicked the second forsaken in the chest, pining it against the wall and pushed the arrow into his forehead. 

Two down, three to go.

When he turned to face the rest, one of them was already upon him. Instinct kicked in. He took hold of its shirt and went down, one foot against its stomach, throwing it above him, on the other side of the hall. Except now, he was surrounded. Forsaken #1 was behind him, Forsaken #2 on its way to him, and Forsaken #3 still trying to free itself.

He went to his feet, just in time to greet Forsaken #2. He staggered a little under its weight. Its hands went around his throat. And squeezed. The smell of death and decay assaulted his senses, and if he hadn't been currently strangled, Alec might have thrown up. In a stupid and useless reflex, his hands gripped the forsaken's trying to break his hold, even though he knew it wouldn't work. Forsaken #2 tighten his grip, snarling in his face. Black spots appeared in front of him, getting larger and larger as the seconds passed. Then his brain turned on. Alec let go, gripped the creature's hair, tilted its head back, and shoved his arrow into its jaw. The arrow went all the way through its skull, the tip exiting from its head, bloodstained and brain matters dripping along the shaft.

Loud footsteps echoed behind him. He dropped the forsaken, the arrow still stuck, turning around as fast as his bruised body and still burning lungs would allow him. Forsaken #1 charged at him, waving its arms in the air. The sight could have been amusing, if it hadn't been for the decomposing, gangrening and rotting body, its flesh grey, some spots of skin missing, and bones peaking out. As it was, it was more horrifying than amusing.

His visions wasn't completely clear yet, so Alec missed the fist swinging towards him. It socked him right in the jaw. At least it wasn't powerful enough to break it, but it would leave a nasty bruise, and hurt like hell. He managed to stay on his feet, nearly stumbling on a hand lying around. He blocked the next attacks, then an opening presented itself. He took it. His fist broke the creature's nose, his kick shattered its ribs, and when it fall on the ground, Alec followed. He straddled the forsaken, lifted his hand and struke the arrow in its heart. It shuddered, groaning, then its chest went flat. Alec felt its heart struggled to beat, then fall silent. 

The shadowhunter gasped, trying to regule his breathing now that he wasn't being strangled and used as a punching-ball anymore. He barely got time to calm his racing pulse when a shadow loomed over him. He breath itched in his chest and he realized with a start that he forgot about the last forsaken. It had managed to get free.

 _Shit,_ he thought just before a hand grasped his head and smashed it against the wall.

Pain exploded behind his eyes. White hot, burning agony erupted in his head, eclipsing any other pain he was feeling until now. When he met the wall a second time, a loud, obnoxious ringing detonated in his ears, drowning out his screams. He wasn't even sure he was screaming ; his throat was raw, aching and sore. Like a vice around his neck, it was flaming whenever he inhaled. Alec knew he could breath, could feel his chest expand, yet he felt like choking.

Wild, sudden panic shot in his stomach. If he didn't do anything, fast, he was going to die. He reached behind him and managed to stuck his arrow into the forsaken's leg. He twisted it, yanking and stabbing again. Its knee buckled underneath it, his hand letting go of Alec's head. He didn't waste time, threw himself at it, and blindly stabbed anywhere he could reach. He must have hit right because the body underneath him stopped moving.

Alec collasped against the wall, his energy levels lower than Imogen Herondale's levels of tolerance. There was blood in his eyes, an incandescent agony besieging his entire body and his mind, and not enough air in the Amazon rainforest to clear his airway. Exhaustion weighted heavily on his battered limbs. Blood was oozing from the bite mark on his collarbone, and his forehead. For every drop of blood dripping out of his body, so did the cobweb of Alec's consciousness. An opaque fog shaded his mind, and he knew he was running out of time. He knew he should get up, he knew he shouldn't fall asleep, he knew doing so might be his downfall. But he was so tired. 

He was just so _tired._

He didn't notice the sounds fading away, he didn't notice his eyes closing, nor did he notice his breathing evening out.

The darkness swept him away, but Alec stayed blissfully unaware.

* * *

Jace was worried.

Scratch that. He was more than worried, he was distraught.

It had been more than twenty minutes since he left Alec to bring the two survivors to safety. It should have been easy : take them somewhere they could easily be find (it was late in the afternoon, there was plenty of people in the street), make sure someone called an ambulance and go back to Alec. It would have been simple, had the teen not went into a cardiac arrest. Jace had to stop in panic, and perform CPR on the seventeen-years-old boy. He might have cracked a rib or two but at least he got his heart beating again.

A few minutes later, and the boy stopped breathing this time. So Jace breathed for him, keeping his fingers on his wrist to track his heartbeat. Fairly soon, he was breathing again, and the shadowhunter decided it was probably best not to move him again. While he laid the woman next to the teen, he absent-mindely thanked Raziel to be alone right now. He didn't need some mundane loosing his mind, claiming the city was haunted because he couldn't see Jace performing CPR (it happened before). Then he called an ambulance There was no one around, so he waited until the ambulance arrived and then took off towards the rehab center.

He activated his speed rune, pushing it to its limit, adrenaline pumping into his veins. He just passed a corner when a blinding pain exploded in his head. Jace staggered, tripped and fall to his knees. He whimpered, trying to close the Parabatai bond. His head throbbed in tandem with his pulse, getting more and more painful. Then it stopped. The pain reduced to a background inconvenience. Jace knew what happened, more familiar with this phenomenon than he would like : Alec was unconscious.

He couldn't feel anything. Not the panic that was pouring into the bond mere minutes ago, not the fear that almost chocked him by its entensity, not the determination, not the fierce tenacity to survive. There was nothing. Just a calm and quiet buzz, the one meaning that Alec was alive. But nothing more. He couldn't feel the reassuring and peaceful heartbeat of his parabatai, the warm wave of happiness and love Alec send whenever he was thinking about Magnus or his siblings, the exasperation tingled with reluctant fondness when he was with Simon, or Clary. Jace hadn't realised how much Alec was _there_. Until he wasn't.

The shadowhunter rised to his feet, not wasting another second to race to his brother. He didn't slow down, not even when the rehab center came to sight. He bursted through the doors, climbed the stairs to the floor where he saw Alec disappeared earlier. Except he wasn't there.

The corridor was a mess : dirt and blood littered the floor, claws marks adorned the walls, and bits of flesh were scattered around. Jace raised his seraph blade, nervousness clinging to his limbs. The trail of blood and dirt seemed to go somewhere, so he followed it carefully.

It lead him into a room. The door was destroyed beyond repair, and there was no one inside. Just a hole into the ground. He looked around, trying to spot any clue. He moved a bit around the hole when his foot hit something. Whatever it hit went flying farther away into the room, crashing against a wall. Jace approached it and kneeled down.

The air in his lungs freezed and he swore he felt his heart stopped for a second.

It was Alec's phone. It was clearly broken, the screen splitted in two and a bit sunk, as if someone or something had stepped on it.

Realization hit him. He pocketed the phone and turned to the hole. Without checking if it was safe, he jumped in. He didn't land on the floor like he expected, but on something soft, yet robust. He looked down to see he was standing on a Forsaken's body, its throat splitted open. Jace didn't check if it was alive, and moved to the door. He was on the right path.

He followed the trail of Forsaken's bodies, through some stairs and to the floor below. He entered the hall, his eyes immediately drown to the sea of putrid and rancid bodies on the ground. But beyond that, so close he could cry, was his brother. 

Alec was collapsed against the wall, unmoving. That send Jace into a flying frenzy, running and climbing corpses to get to his brother. He slumped next to him, dropping his blade.

« Alec, » he choked, bringing his hands to cup Alec's face, « Alec. »

He checked his pulse with trembling fingers. It was slow, too slow for his liking but still strong. He draw back a little, trying to catalogued every injuries Alec sustained. But one of his hands never left his face, needing the contact to ground him.

Alec was pale, as white as a sheet and a cold sweat had started to form on his skin. There was blood on his face, running from his forehead. Jace knew head injuries were often not as severes as their appeared to be since they tended to bleed a lot. But there was a lot of blood this time. He could still feel the blazing pain from before, and he knew it wasn't benign. Not this time. His breathing was shallow and kind of high-pitched, like a whistling.

Apart from the wound to his head, there was also a profound bite mark on the junction of his neck and collarbone. Jace winced, knowing by experience how much those bites hurt, rage flooding his chest when he noticed the dark fingerprints around his throat. His eyes wandered to Alec's arms, decorated by crimson scratches. He could see many bruises littering his body, the most obvious one was on his jaw. He couldn't see any noticeably broken bones, but it didn't mean anything.

Jace took his stele, lifted Alec's shirt and ran it over his iratze. Nothing happened. He did it again, but still nothing happened, no apparently changes. He didn't know if it was because the rune was busy healing something he couldn't see, like internal bleeding, or it it was because there was poison in his body. There didn't seem to be any, but he hadn't performed a complete exmination yet.

Before he could however, he heard running steps coming their way. He snatched his blade from the ground and stood protectively in front of the fallen form of his parabatai.

He didn't need to worry though, because it wasn't more Forsaken barging through the stairs, but their friends. Clary, Magnus and Catarina stopped when they saw him, out of breath. 

« Wow, » exhaled Clary when she saw the sea of dead Forsaken lying in front of her, turning her awed gaze on Jace, then Alec.

Jace relaxed his stance, which allowed them to see what was behind him.

As soon as his eyes landed on Alexander, Magnus's breath froze in his throat. 

« Alexander ! » he gasped, glued to the spot. It didn't last long. The next second he was running toward them, Catarina hot on his heels.

Magnus fell to his knees next to his shadowhunter, his hands already covered by magic. Catarina settled on the other side, doing the same. Jace took a few steps back, so he wasn't in the way. His head snapped to the side when a hand took his. Clary was beside him, she offered him a small smile and squeezed his hand. Jace squeezed back, and returned his attention on his brother.

« I've tried an iratze, but it didn't work, » he informed them.

« That's not surprising, » Catarina said while Magnus cursed. « There is a bleeding in his head, the rune is focusing solely on healing it. But it's weak, probably because Alec doesn't have any spare energy for it to function properly. »

« He has a few cracked ribs too, » Magnus told them, moving his hands to Alec's lower body. His magic coiled around his body and seemed to sink into it. « He also has a twisted ankle, and bruises everywhere. »

« The state of his throat is also worrying. His trachea is damaged and so are his vocal cords. Nothing that can't be fixed, but as you can hear, he can't breathe properly. We don't know how long he had been without oxygene, so he could have some brain damages. »

Magnus felt like crying. Seeing his beautiful, strong, amazing shadowhunter in such a sorry state was heartbreaking. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes. He could break down when Alec was healed and he alone.

He turned to Clary. « Biscuit, I need you to open a portal. » He could have done it himself, sure, but at least it gave her something to do, and he could focus more on healing his husband.

She nodded, quickly drawing the rune on her hand. The portal came to life a few feet away from them. Magnus and Jace lifted Alec between them, careful not to jostle him, while Catarina disappeared through the portal into Magnus's loft. She conjured the medical instruments they needed, gesturing to the couch once they came out.

« Jace, » called Magnus while Cat took care of Alec. The blond shadowhunter turned to him, concern leaking in his expression. « I need a few potions from my apothecary, can you get them for me ? »

Jace nodded in eagerness. He knew what Magnus was doing ; giving him somehting to do, keeping him busy. That's exactly what he needed so he didn't say anything, just listen to the potions he needed and went to fetch them. Magnus went back to Alec and Clary followed her boyfriend.

« Alec didn't have his bow or his blade with him, right ? » she asked, crossing her arms to keep herslef from reaching out to comfort Jace. Right now he needed a purpose, something to do to help Alec, not sympathy.

« No, he didn't, » he answered, juggling three heavy-looking bottles in his arms. He turned to her, a question in his eyes.

« I think he lost them there, » she explained frowning, hating the idea that Alec had been two weapons down in his fight. She hated even more that they were still there, probably lying under some Forsakens. « I'm going to go back and see if I can find them. »

Stele already drawn, she made a move to go in the hall. Jace caught her arm before she could. « Thank you, » he said with raw sincerity, like he couldn't believe she would do this for Alec.

Clary smiled, clearly seeing his concern for his brother and touched once again by the bond between parabatai. She stepped closer and kissed his cheek. « Of course. »

In the next minute she was gone and Jace handed Magnus his potions. Magnus thanked him, and begun the arduous task to make Alec drink them while unconscious.

« What are they for ? » asked the blond, moving to the arm of the couch. He took Alec's hand, resting it on his brother's chest so he didn't have to bend awkardly to keep holding it and open the bond to its fullest. He poured his energy into it, trying to appease his pain and help him as much as he could.

« This one is a pain-reducer, » explained the warlock, pointing at a blue bottle. « The red is to fight any infection the bite may have caused, and the black one a copying-blod cells. Basically, it copies the blood cells in his body, its used in case of important blood loss. It's not a fix though, he's going to need a blood transfusion, but it will help him hold on until then. »

Jace hummed. « Can't you do that with magic ? »

« Yes and no, » answered his brother-in-law, moving down to take care of Alec's ankle, letting room for Cat for his head. « We can use magic for the pain, and as a boost for his immune systeme, but that's it. Copying blood with a spell is more dangerous and volatile than using a potion. »

« And head injury are tricky. The brain is one of the most delicate area to treat, so we're going to need a lot of magic to heal it properly. It's best we use potions for what we can and save as much magic as we can, » continued Cat, waving her hand above Alec's head.

Jace stayed silent. He seemed to hesitate to speak.

Eventually, he asked, quietly, as is he was afraid of the answer. He was. « But, he is.... he is gonna be alright ? »

Cat looked up and stared at his glassy eyes. She could see his trembling hand clutching Alec's, afraid to let go, she could see how he couldn't take his eyes off him, afraid to see him disappear. A soft smile tugged her lips up at the clear affection he was showing.

« I think he will. » That got the blond's attention. His eyes snapped to her, hope glimming under the unshed tears. « Alec is a fighter, and while some of his injuries are severe, it can be fixed. His head is actually not as bad as I thought it was, so it's a good news. He will need blood transfusions though. »

« Take my blood, » offered Jace before she even finished her sentence. « Alec and I share the same blood type. »

« Alright, » she agreed, going back to her patient. « When we're done, I'll set you up. »

It took them an hour and half to heal all they could, alternating between using magic and potions. Eventually, they stopped and Catarina gestured Jace to the chair Magnus put next to the couch. Then she prepared what she needed and set Jace up.

He stared at the blood flooding in the plastic tub connecting him to Alec, a bit grossed out. It was weird to see his own blood leaving his body to enter someone else's. Then he looked at Alec, expecting to see some changes. But nothing. He was still as pale as snow, dark bags under his eyes, and his breathing still the slightest bit shallow.

Now all they could do was wait. 

Magnus had taken place at the end of the couch, Alec's head on his laps. He was running his fingers in his hair, twirling and twisting the dark strands. There was so much love and fondness in his gaze, Jace felt like he was intruding in a private moment. He looked away, watching Cat gathering her belongings instead. 

The peace was broken by a shrill and loud sound. It was Magnus's phone. He picked up, his hand never stopping its movement in Alec's hair.

It was Izzy. Her phone had run out of battery during her getaway with Madzie, so she didn't hear Magnus's message until now. The warlock agreed to open a portal for them, wasting no time and doing it right away.

The girls stopped dead in their tracks when they got sight of Alec. He wasn't as bad as he was when Jace found him, no longer covered in blood, but in bandages instead and with a tube giving him blood. He was quite a sight, especially for a child as young as Madzie.

« Damn, » whispered Izzy, letting go of the little girl's hand. 

Cat swooped her up in her arms, murmuring shoothing words, and reassuring her that Alec was alright. Meanwhile, Izzy kneeled besides her brother's still form. She placed her hand on his chest, above his heart.

« What happened ? » she asked, her eyes sweeping along Alec's body, making a note of all his injuries.

While Jace and Magnus took turn to relay what they knew, Madzie climbed on the couch, sneaked up under Alec's arm and settled against his chest. Izzy smiled at the heart-warming sight, booping the girl's nose when she looked up at her. She wrinkle her nose but didn't protest.

« That's all we know, » ended Jace, while Cat stopped the transfusion. She took the tube out of them, and put some gaze on their arms to stop the bleeding. « You should have seen it, the bodies were everywhere. He fought with all he had. »

« Of course he did, » said Izzy fondly, « it's Alec, what did you expect ? He is the thoughest of us all, no matter what he says. »

« That he is, » agreed Magnus.

Once Catarina cleaned up her equipement, Magnus offered them some dinner and some rooms to stay the night. Jace agreed, but Izzy didn't. Someone needed to take care of the Institue while Alec was out of commission, so she stayed until the last moment and then went back to it. Madzie clearly stated she wanted to stay until Alec was better, and Cat couldn't refuse her, so they took the guest room. Magnus moved Alec to their bedroom, which would be more comfortable for him, and let the couch free for Jace. He retired for the night after making sure everyone was settled.

He woke up an hour later, when someone passed his wards. But it was just Clary, probably returning with Alec's weapons, so he stayed put. He was doozing off, on the verge of sleep when he felt a shift underneath him. Magnus froze, unsure if he dreamt it or not. But when it happened again he sat up, resting a hand on his husband's chest where his head was moments ago. His other hand cluthed Alec's tightly. His heart soared when the hand squeezed back.

« Alexander ? »

Said shadowhunter blinked a couple of times, his eyelids heavy with exhaustion. Eventually, he managed to pry them open. He looked around, recognising the room in was in as their bedroom. Wich meant his husband was here too. He looked the other way, and his breath hitched in his chest in a way that had nothing to do with his injuries.

Magnus was there, his frame enlightened from behind by the moonlight. He wasn't wearing any make up, nor shirt. He was obviously tired, exhaustion marking his face and bags under his eyes, and his hair was falling in his eyes.

He was beautiful.

« There you are, » he greeted, voice smooth and loving.

Alec almost cried. He didn't know if it was because he thought he would never see him again, or the fatigue speaking, but he felt hypersensitive. He felt like his nerves were cutting open, and exposed more openly than ever before.

« Magnus, » he croaked breathlessly, his throat still a bit painfull.

« I'm here, Darling. » Magnus cupped his face with one hand, his thumb slowly stroking his cheek, while the other intertwined their fingers. He was looking at him with such raw emotions, such love, relief and wonder, and Alec was drowning. « Alexander... »

That was all it took for Alec to break down. His eyes filled with tears, rolling down his cheeks, his breath fasten, a dull pain blooming in his chest.

« Oh, Alexander. » Magnus cooed, shuffling until he was lying down next to him. He put his arms around him and pulled him into a hug.

Alec went willingly, burying his face in the warlock's neck. His arms snaked around Magnus, holding him tight. He didn't want to let go, not now not ever.

« I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, » he sobbed endlessly, his voice breaking halfway. He didn't even know what he was apologizing for. For scaring Magnus to death ? For agreeing to the mission ? For almost dying, again ? All he knew what that he was suffocating in guilt and fear.

« Shhh, it's okay Darling, it's not your fault. You're fine, and I am too. We're alright. » Magnus soothed, running his hands up and down the shadowhunter's quivering back.

His heart broke hearing Alec's laments. He didn't deserve this. After everything Alec went through, Magnus wished the Universe would give him a break. 

« I'm sorry Magnus. I'm sorry, I didn't want to hurt you, » Alec kept apologizing, embedding himself deeper into Magnus's embrace.

The warlock blinked, tears fizzing in his eyes. He could never forget that voicemail Alec left him, thinking he wasn't going to make it. It was single-handedly the most painful Magnus thing had ever heard, and he knew he was going to have nightmares about it for a long time. But then, he thought about Alec, alone, injuried, not knowing if he was going to survive. He thought about Alec, bloody and bruised, finding his only solace in Magnus's voice, wanting to speak to him one last time. He thought about Alec, beaten and desperate, thanking Magnus for loving him, like it hadn't been (and still was) Magnus's absolute _privilege_ to be the one loving Alec wholeheartedly, and being loved the same way in return. Alexander was everything to him and it killed him that he didn't seem to realised it.

Well, no more.

He drawback a little, so he could rest his forehead against Alec's. He stared into his eyes and smiled. « You are everything to me, Alexander. I've waited hundred of years to find you, and it was worth it. »

There Alec made a protesting noise. He knew most of what happened to Magnus during those hundreds of years ; it was awful and no one deserved that, least of all his amazing husband.

« It was, » Magnus emphasized, his fingers brushing away Alec's tears, while his own finally break free. « If it means I get to love you, than I would do it again. You are worth _everything,_ my love. I would give you anything and everything if you asked. Do you know why ? Because I love you. I love you, Alexander. More than I've ever loved anyone, more than I could ever love anyone. »

« I love you too, » Alec said in earnest, whipping the warlock's tears away. He wanted to keep saying it until Magnus got sick of it, until the words tattoed themselves on their skin. He thought he would never say it again, and now he didn't want to stop. « I love you _so much._ »

« I know , » Magnus whispered. He kissed Alec's cheeks, then his eyelids, then his forehead, and finished by his nose, which pulled a giggle out of his husband. Magnus smiled, pleased with himself. He went back to his initial position, staring at those beautiful green eyes. « Thank you for coming back to me. »

« I'll always come back to you. »

« Come here, » Magnus urged, dragging Alec back into his arms.

The shadowhunter nestled against him, boneless and warm. Magnus buried his face in Alec's hair, his fingers tracing lazy figures against his husband's naked back. He felt Alec sighed against his collarbone, then sagged a bit more in his hold.

They were okay. For now, they were okay. 

Tomorrow they'd get up, Alec would be smothered with affection and concern by Jace and Madzie, Cat would check his wounds and declare he wasn't fully healed yet : his throat would hurt for a couple more days, and he'd have more than a few headaches in the following weeks. She'd prescribe a lot of rest, which Alec would actually follow for once. He'd wake up in the middle of the night, screaming, clawing at his throat. And Magnus would be there to help him. Like alway. Like Alec always helped him when he needed it. Because he loved him and there was no place he would rather be. His place was at Alec's side, now and forever.

There would be more tears, and hugs, and kisses. There would be more pain, emotionnal and physical, and there would be more comfort, and nights spent in each other's embraces.

But for now, Magnus was content to watch his shadowhunter sleep. There was just one thing he needed to do before he joined him into Morpheus's realm.

He picked up his phone from his bedside table and searched what he was looking for. He stared at the screen for a long second, his thumb hovering over the device. Finally, he touched the button. He breathed a bit easier, as if a heavy weight was just lifted from his shoulders. 

A mecanic voice rosed from his phone, resonating in the room, ringing with a finality that was entirely in Magnus's head.

_Message deleted._  


**Author's Note:**

> Well, what do you think ?
> 
> Let me a review, it is greatly appreciated !
> 
> Until next time !


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